Life of Rachael

Taking care of myself admist all the stress of college, work, and attempted socializing is nearly impossible lately. Self-talk doesn’t work as well when I’m frazzled/anxious about everything and have not gotten enough sleep. Perhaps expecting to miraculously feel good the majority of every day is not reasonable

waitinghopingliving:

blueeyesandsadgoodbyes:

tepitome:

Cake

i need need need the library one for my birthday pls pls pls

You can say you’re not in the cake fandom but EVERYONE is in the cake fandom

Bit nervous about this weekend. Two things: I am giving an 8-10 minute speech on how LGBT History should be taught in grades K-12 AND I am most likely going to see old friends and my ex might be there because they are mutual friends (but trying not to worry too much…may or may not happen and just have to deal with it when the time comes).

From pain can come growth. As cliche as it is: “You have to put up with the rain to have a rainbow.” I am. And I am so much better and closer to that rainbow. Self-talk has gotten pretty damn good. I also got med increase so we will see how well that works, but it can take a couple of weeks. Dr would not give me anything for anxiety, however, he said to talk with someone at the college and see if they would. At least the med increase (med I have been on for nearly 4 years) is a great start!

New Self-Talk Tactics/Thoughts

Came up with some new ways to control my thinking. They work quite nicely.

•I acknowledge this thought and will now move past it
•I acknowledge that I cannot understand everything and do not need to
•I am not letting my thoughts get away from me. I control them.
•If I act do that, I will not feel good afterwards. It is not good for my mental health.
•No Facebook at night or when I feel most vulnerable.
•I do (or do not) like thinking about this
•I have already thought about that a lot and do not need to anymore
•I know some memories will come and it is okay for me to feel them gently and then move on
•I like and acknowledge positive automatic pilot of thought control when it happens and want my brain to keep doing this.
•It is okay for me to heal and there is no right or wrong way so long as I remain productive and do not dwell

Old ones I still use:
•oops
•this thought does not make me feel good
•this thought is unhealthy
•ouch
•I will think about something else now
•Thoughts are just thoughts. It does not mean they are always true or factual
•I acknowledge I am having a hard time and I will get through it
•I am doing better and I am on the right track
•good job or yay (for when I effectively control my thinking)
•I am stronger than I think
•I am my own person surviving just fine without her

All the best of people!
And hopefully a girl who treats me right though it’s certainly not necessary. She should enhance life instead of sometimes bringing drama and stress into it.

All the best of people!
And hopefully a girl who treats me right though it’s certainly not necessary. She should enhance life instead of sometimes bringing drama and stress into it.

And then there are moments of rage. They’re okay though I cannot let them consume me.

And then there are moments of rage. They’re okay though I cannot let them consume me.

its-a-cat-world:

Round cat

its-a-cat-world:

Round cat